They say there’s no place like home for the holidays, and I agree! Something about December draws family members toward home, whether they live near or far. For parents of older children, it’s a wonderful time to welcome home college students, adult children and even grandchildren. I can attest to the pure joy of having all my kids back under one roof, celebrating and laughing together. Talk about Christmas cheer!

And what better time than the holidays to take a family portrait? It may be too late for your Christmas card, but you can never have enough photos of the whole crew. Unfortunately, selling big kids on family pics is harder than getting a toddler to sit still. Despite all the selfies they are taking, teens and young adults are often unwilling to participate in a group photo.

But with some persuasion (and maybe some bribery), a family photoshoot can be a positive experience for everyone involved. Here are five tips to get your reluctant family members excited about your next family photo:

Say no to matching — You spent years teaching them to be independent, so don’t try to control them now. Children of all ages will resist matching outfits, especially if the clothes don’t suit their style. Tell them to wear their favorite outfit or set a dress code or color scheme as a guideline for picking their clothes. If they’re still refusing, think outside the box and let them wear footie pajamas, ugly sweaters or even costumes.
Put them in charge — Remember when you had your little one help chop veggies for dinner, and suddenly they loved carrots? The same principle works for photos. Allow your teen to choose the location, or have your adult children arrange everyone in their places. Giving them an assignment can help assuage any self-consciousness they may be experiencing and keep you from looking like a control freak.
Well-rested, well-fed — Everybody gets hangry sometimes, but a sleepy or hungry teen is terrifying. So schedule your photo shoot carefully to make sure everyone is in good spirits. Don’t make it too early for those who sleep in or too late for grandchildren who take naps. And bring along snacks, water bottles and entertainment because they’re always starving/thirsty/bored!
Incentivize their smiles — Follow up your photo shoot with a fun activity or reward, like lunch at a favorite restaurant or ice skating at a local rink. (Cash bribes work, too.) Dangle that incentive any time they start to whine or go stone-faced. Or incorporate an activity into the photo shoot for a few candid shots. For example, family snowball fights can make for great pics!
Don’t freak out — The pressure of getting the perfect family portrait can bring out the worst in family members. In fact, your children may still be traumatized by prior photo shoots that were marked by meltdowns and threats. No wonder they’re not excited to do it again! But reassure your kids that you will relax this time and let go of expectations. Show them you mean it with a calm demeanor and positive attitude. They’ll feed off your enthusiasm, and all that joy will shine through your photos.

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